Always One Step ahead of the Other

Went to see the sunset again tonight, but I went to a location I've never been since living in the City.... I arrived late and lots of people about, mostly tourists - locals never watch the sunset as they are too busy - but I was there....

It's amazing how something so simple as seeing a sun disappear, can make one so sad. One would think it'd be a pleasure to watch, but it's been a long time since I "watched" a sunset. These days I observe it to determine my best position to record it... then I start looking around for a better vantage point (there's always a place better than where you're standing). I try to see where the sun will disappear from my sight, and how it might appear in my camera.... you get the drift: it's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of watching and enjoying a sunset....

sigh.....

This sunset ~ and many others ~ make me reflect on Life... I won't look back. My thoughts are on my future and how to arrive to that point of time in my future when I can stop dreaming about it and it becomes a reality finally. I am "counting down" to my return to my own apartment and small as it might be, it's mine. It's clean, it's bearable and perhaps not the nicest but it's mine. It's my home and I miss being in my apartment. I know where everything is and everything belongs to ME. I clean up after myself and when I get bored, I take a siesta....

The hardest thing I have had to adjust to and to attempt understanding while living here, is why some people analyze the smallest simple thing and how it is blown all out of proportion... from something so harmless it could be put off till doomsday, but in their mind, it's a life and death situation and it has to be done right this instant!

I can see why this culture has such sickness and phobias, some real and others imagined. Why can't things just be better and simple, as it should be?

Oh yea: that greed thang is very annoying too....

I have so many sunsets remaining... I can't see them all but that doesn't worry me. In my corner of Spain, the sunsets are gorgeous and I'll see them when I can, and if I miss one - there's always manana....

I am impatient to leave and I'll miss the great things I've seen, but I'll be happy... I'll be looking forward, thinking of my future joys and never to look to what was and only to what will be. Why dwell on something that has happened and you can't change anything? In fact, why even stress over things that are beyond your control, that you cannot change? Time for a siesta!

On the other hand, I am always interested in, and looking for new things to do in my passion of photography. I've just "spoken" with a friend, model and photographer Naomi Strange who lives in the East Bay, and we are now tentatively planning a virtual exhibit with another photographer of a very interesting concept: how two different photographers SEE and capture one subject - stay tuned for details. I've photographed her as a model (she has gorgeous skin and eyes), and she has a very nice eye in the things she photographs.... it'll be an unique personal project to see how a male and a female photographer sees one subject and creates their two separate and individual imagery! If we are lucky enough to find a locale for hanging prints, perhaps we will have an exhibit that will be both a physical and virtual display of the photographs! Surely the idea has already been done, but it'll be different for us as we work alone.

Stay tuned to this space for updates on this concept!

walking alone in profound thought

Thank goodness I have a "local" bank - using this as an excuse to leave the car (happily) behind and take a walk - a real walk - to the edge of the Financial District from North Beach which is just about a mile in distance. I haven't done any real walking since I was in Spain during January and I had a lot of meals to get rid of. I walk fairly fast... I can walk about two miles in about 17,6 minutes, and that's been with a camera stopping to snap at buildings and things.

When I got to the bank, I saw the manager in his office and asked my usual question about refinancing my spanish apartment with an american bank so I can quit losing $400+ monthly on conversion between the stronger euro and the weaker dollar. Of course I knew the answer would be negative but I always hope for a pleasant surprise and a positive reply instead.

I returned home using a different route taking me up to the steep hills of Nob Hill - I needed this exertion as I haven't walked in so many months. The frigid wind whipped around the corners as I reached the top but it was refreshing. An unseen ambulance blaring with sirens zipped by on another street... I didn't care. I passed by an apartment building with ornate windows and pulled out my cell to snap a picture... a woman walking a small brown dog watched me as she stepped closely behind me. Her expression told of unknown and unseen horrors; hopefully it wasn't her windows!
I saw cars zipping through stop signs, people walking by without noticing their close proximity to the driven danger, their eyes downward, talking on cell phones or listening to an unseen and unheard iPod. Birds not caring of the humans below and the unknown close brush with death glided above our heads.... twisting, turning, circling....

I walked down a steep hill where city workers dressed in bright orange vests were busily sweeping and pushing brooms. I greeted the two of seven nearest me, wishing them a good morning and to take care, and they politely smiled and returned the greeting.

At the top of the next hill at Taylor and Union, across the street a couple stood next to a parked car, looking to the bay where their cameras pointed. I looked past their cameras and smiled, and they smiled back. Stepping onto to Union Street a MUNI bus stopped, and the air hissed as the bus "kneeled" and dropped four inches to the ground as an elderly woman stepped gingerly off the bus and walked away, cane in hand. I waved to the bus driver as he waited for me to walk past in front of his bus before driving off.

a sunset to blind oneself by

The sky was so clear above the horizon and it was so blindingly bright that I couldn't face it. I looked to the south and saw a seemingly tiny sailboat bopping like a cork in the winds, going one way then another... I thought: that's not tacking at all.... bit the boat made headway and blew past the helo pad, then toward the bridge....

I read a book while waiting, thoughts turned to the chapters beneath my fingers. Cars zipped by.... bicycles zoomed by.... joggers ran past my car.... and the sun kept dropping lower in the sky toward the horizon. I could now make out a line of clouds just above the waterline.... very faint outlines, like skyscrapers over the water.....

Soon it was time to leave the warmth of my vehicle, grabbing the cameras to watch the last of the lowering of that golden globe. Birds flew past my eyes, past the cliffs and past the many strangers standing there... still, watching....

They blew past rather than flew.... they glided past at the speed of flung rocks from atop the cliffs, down toward the water to a thrown death but then gliding up again without flapping a wing, soaring even higher than before to hover endlessly, it seemed.... then winging toward parts unknown as they caught the wind in the wings again.

The sun was now at cloud-level and backlit the clouds brightly. It seemed as if on fire.... so bright were those soft edges.... soon it disappeared slowly into the clouds, splashing its golden glow upon that clear sky, dashing out the light yellow and painting the emptiness with golden streaks of color......
Then it was gone.... a container ship steamed past the golden exhibit as though it was a plain storefront with not even a look toward its golden light. It steamed out to the horizon, quiet.... disappearing soon into the clouds itself....