am I ever amazed....

Needless to say for those who know me, I am online 36 hours a day. What? You think I can't count... that might be true but if you were up all day and night, when you finally get to sleep it will seem longer than the 24 alloted....

I love "talking" to my friends in Europe.... I miss them a lot and wish I were back in that tight-knit community. The culture is different {better} and things are more relaxed.

Now I have my friends in Eugene... I miss that place too and though it certainly isn't the most wonderful place in the USA, to me and to this tired soul, it certainly comes very close to heaven. I cannot believe how friendly the natives are there and that's probably the biggest reason I chose that spot for my relocation from Spain... to me it was the same friendliness I experience, carve and love so much in my little rincon of Andalucia, except without the spanish. Each time I go back and I've been back about four times now, I am reminded of that friendliness by little displays of thoughtfulness that make me want to cry when I think of it... and I have.

Today in my little world of nothingness, I got a phone call from a young woman who is not only my friend but a beautiful person inside and out, and I have proof on virtual film! A call from a distant friend almost put me to tears again... I miss the hugs I would get in Eugene and in Spain, and here in SF you'd have to pay for one. I miss the straight-forwardness honesty of the people and here I am just so isolated... my few times of rare happiness is when I am on the road again driving to Eugene, or in a run around San Francisco with my camera taking pictures. That's not a life....

Isn't it disgusting that in my hometown, where I was born and raised, I have fewer friends than in Spain and Eugene? sigh....

would you mourn for me?

It's been two long weeks waiting for the season's opening of CSI, and it was worth it. There has been NO other series on the little screen that has moved me as much as this... and the Las Vegas version has been the cornerstone of the spin-offs, which I feel are not as emotional nor as real as CSI on Thursdays.

Tonight at the episode's closing at the funeral, I will not believe it if anyone watching this say they did not shed a single tear.

This series, for the few years I have watched it, has moved me...
** emotionally, for its profound understanding of the human mind, and how it is interpreted for its viewers....
** for its accurate realism in protraying real lives, real people and real and true situations as much as possible
** deeply, for its meaningful manner of invoking situations and emotions that seem so real, that the scene and emotion protrayed could very well be yours, or mine...

I've watched less and less of television since I left the states and lived in Europe, but this is one program I will always watch with deep loyalty.

Though a virtual character has died, I have been moved so much that it could have well been my best friend that had died in reality.... Why can't in this real-world real emotions like this be seen, felt, and/or offered? Where friends are friends and will protect you, support you, and be with you in your good and those bad times? Why do we require a computer to live behind when there is a real world beyond that screen, past our walls and in the non-virtual streets that we walk less and less upon each day?

And why, in these modern times, do we need a television series so profound as CSI to show us HOW we should feel for each other, that WE are human too and not perfect like machines, and FRIENDS should act in such a manner... like the old days... when friends were true to our dying days, and more.....

WHY?