live without them: EYEs {Final seQuel}

I haven’t written about my vision in some months so allow me to expand on the condition of my eyes. I still cannot believe it’s been over 10 months since my eyes were improved through the application of the wavefront PRK procedure. I elected this procedure as I wanted the ability of looking through camera viewfinders.

Of course, I had fears..... many fears! At one time in my life, I had the best eyes in my family; then I grew up and due to bad habits around the television and drawing in near pitch-black rooms, my eyesight simply deteriorates till I needed glasses, and began wearing glasses when I was about 15 till last year. All glasses I've ever wore/used were of the photogray type, darkening in sunlight and clearing indoors. I have never used ever clear glasses and can never understand how others can buy just clear glasses for outdoors. Now glassless, I've been in bright sunlight without sunglasses and am blinded by how bright it is out there! WoW!!

if I lost my Vision ~ could I see such delights?

I used all the post-operative medication and followed all instructions to the “T”, me who short-cuts everything. I never follow anything to the letter till now and with my so-important eyes. After all, my vision is probably the most necessary item contributing to my photography, aside from my mind. I’ve know several people who have had the lasik procedure, even in Spain, and when I decided on my surgery, asked them and they just wished me luck and not one advisory or cautious word. I researched the procedure online and talked to others who have had the procedure done, and they didn’t say anything negative about their procedure except for the halo effect afterwards.

Without my eyes, how could I possibly capture this cloudy sunset?

Little by little my eyes has improved and am confident it will improve even more in the weeks to come. I expected this and discovered my poor night vision was so bad that driving at night due was out of the question almost immediately for the first three months after the procedure, but it’s improved now to the point I don’t even think of it. I use little signs and scenes seen everyday to judge my vision healing process, and it’s so improved since those earlier months. One first test each day is a small digital clock located with a black background, about 11 feet from my bed. When I started with my new eyes, I couldn’t see the bright thin digits indicating the time. Each day as I wake, this was and is the first thing when I start my day and eventually the last object I see at the end of the day. During the day I can see it perfectly, but as the light disappeared and dark dominated, I discovered I couldn’t see the numbers against the dark background. In daylight, it’s perfect but come night, I could not distinguish the numbers sharply. Starting at about the fifth post-op month, the numbers started to be slowly clear and become sharper. Today – as it has been for a few weeks now – it’s been so perfect. Sharp in the daylight and remaining sharp throughout the day till night and beyond!

It’s amazing how eyes play such an important role in one’s life. Unless one loses their sight, one cannot take something so simple and taken for granted as is breathing, but it is so important that without it one is more than “blind”, and I shutter to think what if…..

I can now see and read a USA corner street sign from about half a block away. In some cities such as SF where supplemental GREEN street signs are added in addition to the normal signs, I can see these green signs as far as a block away. I can easily read speed limit signs on freeways, highways and streets as far as a block away depending on my vehicle speed. hahahaaa I cannot wait till I return to southern Spain where the tiny antique street signs are located on the corners on the building/home walls. Much smaller than here, that will be a real test!!

Highway informational signs in blue, green and brown I can read as far as three truck lengths away, depending on truck length. Billboards on and off the highways, painted on city downtown buildings or atop roofs, I can see clearly from blocks away depending on size.

My sight is great and I know it will continue to slowly improve and give me even better vision than last week and last month. My biggest fear of this whole event was my possibly losing my eyesight, or even ending up with poorer vision than I originally had with the glasses. Can you imagine me, who lives behind the viewfinder, without sight?

I looove living and seeing without glasses! Now I’ve purchased sunglasses to shade my eyes against that brightness…. Life is very cool without those “other” glasses!!!
How can I possibly enjoy the color, the flash of lights, and the wonder of fireworks if not for my Vision?

again to Eugene

Over two weeks ago I returned from a long and tiring five-day trip to Oregon again. Two days were actually spent in Eugene shooting some great friends and families, then left Eugene Monday morning at about

5am, driving to gorgeous Crater Lake a final time as I think I won’t be able to see it again due to the packing and readying for my return to Spain next year. I had a bit of self-inflicted food-poisoning which made the latter portion of my return even worst, though I didn't know it was due to my reusing coffee cups obtained during the SF to Eugene portion. So much for future trips being green and reusing disposable cups!

Driving in Eugene is sooo easy and carefree, not like the hassle and rush in the Bay Area. It was wonderful seeing all the tree-lined streets, which I think one takes for granted. There are many streets in SF full of trees but it’s just one of many – but when one drives the Eugene streets and thorough-ways, trees are on practically every street! I think it’s a very soothing effect on a driver…. The other thing I enjoyed seeing is the Christmas snowflakes effect the tree pollen gives one…. And just as big as a flake in a heavy snowfall!!

Saturday morning I had a family shoot and also another family session Sunday afternoon in Amazon Park, then a private session Sunday morning. Photography is something I love as it allows me to see uniquely the surrounding world to create new visions – perhaps that’s half the source of my problems as I have to be always living in front of a small monitor to organize, edit and archive my image files. There is something wrong with this equation and though this is the normal progression of photography, I know I was not born to stay cooped up within a dwelling no matter where I am, looking at the small screen to organize and view images, nor to contact others. This isn’t the life I expect nor want it to be, and soon after I return to Spain, I’ll revert back to film….

Regardless, it was great to be in Eugene again, and to finally see an end to most of the I-5 road work that was going on all the months I spent there. The people of Eugene should be proud of what they have there…. I am always happy to let people know I used to be a Eugene resident and wish I were still! I went by my old neighborhood, and saw the little garage cottage where I lived. It looked empty though there was a new couple who both smoke living in the main house.

I was again surprised to see a few business closures, typical during these hard times but I thought they were going strong after seeing them late last year when I was in Eugene last. Though the homeless scene is just as obvious in Eugene as it is in San Francisco,

Crater Lake was a blast, with wispy clouds later appearing to my surprise, then I decided to get to the east side of the lake to prevent lens flare by not shooting into the sun. There was snow at the lake, and I soon discovered the east side closed due to this large amount of snow! So, I drove back to the northern side and continued taking pictures. Fortunately by time I returned, the sun had risen higher and allowed me more latitude in getting the shots I wanted. I even climbed to some deserted spots to which I’ve never been previously.

Leaving Crater Lake I drove on HWY 199 south toward the Californian coast. I was hoping to get some shots of the Oregon coast too, but that wasn’t to be. Instead it was the Californian coast I saw first and I wasn’t happy at all till I noticed the city had a lighthouse. Everyone knows I like lighthouses!! Ha! It's amazing that on my GPS the California borderline showed up as a non-descriptive thick black line! Right as I crossed the border I saw out of the corner of my eye a sign welcoming me back to my home state! Amazingly, the weather in Oregon this day was nice, warm and sunny and as soon as I crossed the border headed south, instead of sun it was immediately overcast and coooold!! What gives!?! wow!!I was also tired enough to stop to look at the tall redwoods again, and that is something that always keeps me in awe as I look skyward to see the heights of these beautiful trees.

Since my return I've been working on the trip image files plus others created before I departed. The files just add up and accumulates in more sitting and more monitor work for me. I would have never thought my passion for photography would be affected by the post-work that follows creating an image: the endless hours of viewing each and every image, deleting or maintaining a file, organizing everything then archiving the massive amounts of files later. While I am happy to have such great images from the trip, I am so disappointed that my life now has been reduced to 100hrs a day computer work which distracts from the pleasure in my recent past when all I had was a darkroom and that was all I needed. In those days, I would shoot film all day, then spend hours in the darkroom during the cooler night, the breeze coming in through an open window being a welcome break in the darkness....

Those days are gone…. for now.

Sometimes.....

It amazes me constantly. Having attended a wedding recently, I am always reminded of the unique and constantly changing moods of Man. How an individual can change so much, to show great compassion or hatred... to be so tender in some moments and then display brute force in another. Oh, I am not referring at all to the wedding - but as a general statement of my observances of Man.

Being ex-military (there... I've said it!) and having crossed this world a few times, plus having had the opportunity to live in difference places in my life, I've seen more than what the normal individual should be allowed to see and experience. That I have worked positions of physical security has exposed me to even more.... of course a normal citizen shouldn't be thrust into such levels of revelation... and while I don't enjoy seeing the sad face of Mankind, it is also a very interesting story and performance.

As a photographer, I have seen even more.... is it possible? I have captured many faces... virtually and real, construed to be real and posed to appear real. I've seen nice people act mean, and mean people who seemed incapable of feeling emotion, but cried like a baby. I have worked alongside those who seemed physically incapable of great feats of strength and in the time with them, noted that they surpassed their physical limitations in a positive way. Bossy people without a kind word would show a rare and in-depth side of themselves that surprised me... while shy and kind folks shocked me by acting out the opposite sides of their personalities.

The human side of Man is such a constant; it is no wonder that throughout the ages Man is and will always be the subject of many words and film performances.

Though I have been honored to have been able to associate with very kind and generous people during my lifetime, I have also seen my share of stupid acts of immaturity ~ age in my opinion, does not improve the level of intelligence, but only serves as a constant reminder that the old can be foolish and childish, and the young can oftentimes be more mature than their elders.

One does not have to be a certain age or having some vast experience in anything, in order to make a fool of themselves. Nor does it pertain to just one gender over the other, but of course my observations are not exactly approved by the members of most of the Earth's population.

Life is a roller coaster of emotions, experiences, trying times and beautiful moments however rare. It gives me wonder often, and also saddens me to the point of tears. I see the homeless and the rich, and think of such constants - what if they were to be traded in positions and homes for just one year? I have laughed at the maturity of tiny six-year olds, and in awe by the foolishness of 40-year olds. I have seen and felt the compassion of complete strangers and the wrath of "friends" who left me by the wayside.

Life is the best reality anyone can have. There is a world beyond our computer monitors and the tiny animated screen in the living rooms of the world. To live and rejoice in its color, its pleasures, the sadness, and the wonder of this Reality is more than anyone can ask. There is NO script, no lights but that glorious sunlight a few trillion miles away....

Let's bask in its warmth, its cold, its compassion and its hatred.... solely because it is Life, and it's the only one to lead us along our Destiny to the fin of the book, the end of the movie, the final commercial, and to our last pages....

Life has its times good and bad ~ we all know how it goes. It's sadness that bring misery to our hearts but without the heartache, how can we appreciate the good times, the pleasures and the joy? Sometimes one has to hit rock bottom in order to realize the climb back to the top can be one of joy too.

And when you reach the top, rest your body and take in the view.... I'll be there to enjoy it with you.

Can't live without them...

Well, the unthinkable happened. After having my car in the shop twice last month, I didn't think it would happen where my car would return to be worked on, so soon again and so unexpectedly. Yesterday as I prepared to go pick up my sister from work - and leaving earlier than normal as more cars are on the road in warmer temperatures than in colder weather, plus lots of road projects are in progress in the downtown area causing jams and headaches - but the car wouldn't start! The starter was okay but the car engine just wouldn't crank. After a few moments of several attempts, I just gave up. Called my sister to inform her (she doesn't check for messages and didn't hear my voicemail mesages) and called AAA Emergency road services. They gave me an estimated time of arrival at my North Beach location of 40 minutes, so I settled down, made phone calls trying to find a vehicle, etc... when after only 10mins I saw the yellow tow truck coming down the steep hill toward me. I didn't have to even flag him down; he turned on his emergency flashers and drove to my side of the street where the car was parked on the street and instantly went to work.

After a few tries, he simply asked me where I wanted the car to be towed. The AAA service will have the car towed to a place of your choice within five miles for free, so I asked him to take it to a garage I've been using with great results, then called them to advise them of my car problems and that the car would be there soon. This tow truck driver hitched up my car, assembled the little rear tires wheel jack, and faster than I could finish moving out my things from the car, flipped out his clipboard for a signature and took off even before the estimated time he was supposed to be here!!! wow!!! Talk about service!

This morning I rented a vehicle from Enterprise at Fisherman's Wharf, just a quick four blocks from my sister's apartment - it was a tiny 4-door Chevy Aveo. RED - same color as my car!! It's strange to be renting a car because first-off, I usually don't have money to do it. Second, I've never rented a car in my hometown of San Francisco! sigh... I am doing so much here that I never was able to do as a youngster! I did a quick check and adjustments, then drove off. Spiffy power, handled well on the hills and stops, and then I was home. Parked on the street in exactly the same spot as my car when it died on me, then spent five minutes looking for the little buttons to raise/lower the windows, etc. I had opted for a economy-priced car that didn't have electric windows, or electric door locks. Boy, this nice Honda has really spoiled me!! I finally found how to roll up the windows: it has the same devices as in my old car in Spain... roll them up manually in a circular motion!! hahahaaaaa

So, I drove around all over the place while delivering my sister to various medical appointments and running errands. I called and got updates on my car repair and by early afternoon, came the call that my car was fixed and waiting for me. Now, trying to juggle driving my sister here and there, and getting to the garage to get my car before they close, plus turn in the vehicle so I'm not charged for another day! Impossible? Never! Difficult, perhaps... fun and an excuse to walk up hills: YES!!! Her last medical appointment would get her back in the rental car at about 5:30pm, and we were way across town and rush hour was at its peak, BUT still possible. It took 32 minutes driving in streets and traffic that makes a marine boot-camp training seem baby's play, zig-zagging in and out of traffic... but I finally arrived at her favorite place on Lombard Street, half a mile from the garage. So, I dropped her off there, drove to the garage and parked the rental. Did I say I hadn't eaten much over the day previous and this same day? ;-) Got my car, then drove back to the restaurant. Walked back to the garage and got the rental, then drove it half a mile towards the rental car agency at Fisherman's Wharf, about a mile away now. Using this method of "leap-frogging", I succeeded in a very slow manner to get both cars closer to the rental agency to return it a day earlier.

Things along the way... I had to do the last fill-up, so drove to a gas station where I promptly waited behind a sedan with Oregon plates and three girls each trying to get the pump working - with no success. I stepped out and made a joke about customers not needing to pump their own gas in Oregon, to which they agreed, and thus when necessary not knowing how!! We all laughed and I helped them with the credit card and pumping... they were very excited about being in the City.... an hour before while leap-frogging the two cars, I had seen a man walking with a Oregon "O" hat on!! hahahahaa

While parking the rental on a steep hill on Hyde street, a tourist helped me guide the car backing UP the steep incline.... nice tourist - must be from the boonies!!

And finally when parking the rental at the garage's top floor to finally be DONE with the rental, it was a gorgeous view from the top of the garage, so I snapped the below pix with my cell camera!

Dam cars; cannot live with cars and can't live without them!!! But when I live in Spain again, I won't be buying a car!!! ;-)

Flames and Fire

What a busy camera weekend but I love being busy!! The weekend had cleared up and was forecast to be cool in the evenings and Saturday the same conditions but with just a touch of clouds.... just imagine how really great it was to be... cool nights with just a slight haze over the whole Bay Area, with just a bit of wind sufficient to push away both clouds and smoke. To make it better, the waters of the Bay was just about still and it was just a very magical night! But I'm getting ahead of myself so please allow me explain my weekend started with late Friday night.

I drove to Davis - almost a two hour drive in traffic, the first jam being caused by a single CHP vehicle with lights on following a single car which caused 300 cars to drive the speed-limit. Once past that situation, the traffic cleared up drastically so I could make up for lost time.... to get to the campus of the University of California at Davis for their Whole Earth Festival celebration. Upon arrival I thought for a long hard moment as though I was transported to hiPPieLand (once again), or did I drive too far and actually end up in Eugene? hahahahaa Part of their events included two hours of fire-dancers from the area but also coming from as far away as Santa Cruz, so with my passion for fire-spinners growing, I wanted to see and photograph the fire-dancers performing at this event. The weather was great and though I brought a jacket, I didn't even need it! There was a slight hint of humidity which disappeared as the night came, though the flying bugs bothered me now and then during the performances ~ but not enough to ruin the magic I was to witness!

After a brief sight-seeing tour of the downtown area of Davis, I spent the rest of the night at a I-80 rest area, it being so late. Though a car isn't the best place to rest/sleep, it did give me fond memories of previous road-trips... the longest being my four-day road trip(s) to and from Germany from Spain, plus a few trips while living in Oregon.

With not even enough time to download and "process" the resulting images, Saturday night was to be just as busy - preparation and driving to the Marin County headlands and to be walking up a very rocky trail to a mountaintop to the top with the most gorgeous view of the Bay Area, and of my gorgeous hometown as I've never before seen. I went here to see the annual KFOG KaBOOM fireworks display which I've never seen, though I've seen a few other fireworks in SF.... What was to make it special was a full moon rising out of the East Bay hills, through the low fog and behind the fireworks!! It was a sight to treasure forever!!

Seriously, if I died that night I would've LOVED to see San Francisco as I saw it last night - in such a glorious view - from this high and tranquil location! Behind me the sun just set in a most intense and golden sky and the hike had me gasping for air but it was all worth it. I did take note of all those loose pebbles and rocks, and that I would trot down this same trail in the darkness, though I do have a tiny keychain light which has a very powerful blue light and I also ~ just in case ~ took a hand-crank light that I keep in my car.But what an experience this weekend has been - except for Sunday (now) when I have to process all of these image files, spending more time in front of the monitor which I just hate, and looking out the window to the nice day.... it was a fanTasTic weekend!
At our mountain-top location a group of hikers did appear shortly before the fireworks started, standing behind us and noisily watched both the fading sunset glow and the fireworks. Soon afterwards though, they left without so much of a single goodbye - and considering that I and fellow Flickr friend Stargazer introduced ourselves to them, they just left... taking their noise with them. I thought how rude!!!

Dangerous Hills of North Beach

I live on the outskirts of North Beach, bordering Fisherman's Wharf on one side, and Russian Hill on the other. Only a few blocks away is Chinatown and Telegraph Hill also.... all within a "toss" of a loaf of sourdough bread. All areas complete with hills and very steep hills... I remember screams of pain when I was a kid living in this area, when cars zoomed down the hills and hit people and/or cars. At the corner of Lombard and Taylor, there were so many seriously fatal accidents they finally put up a stop sign.... but these little branchless trees with a single word on it does not stop the pain and misery caused by speed and drivers.So imagine my lack of surprise when I walk out and start up Taylor Street - yes, the same street where just weeks prior they filmed a speeding car down the same stretch of cement - and saw this sobering sight......
I didn't even bother to ask details of what happened or how many injured... I just starting snapping with my cell camera so that I could blog this to warn anyone else, no matter the location, that speeding and running stop signs doesn't accomplish anything.

Eventually one day you won't be able to stop in time due to your routine of sliding through the intersection. Just last week there was a very serious accident I saw on Van Ness Avenue where a smaller car speeding through an intersection on Van Ness hit a crossing huge black SUV, and slammed it off the street and on its side on the corner of the SW pavement. The car was still there, like two wild animals in a clearing still engaged in the kill......If you see a STOP sign, do as it directs you. I see so many cars zipping through the intersections and wonder why I haven't yet witnessed a death or worst... yes, what can be worst than a death?
Let's all take care out there. WE are our own worst enemy and unfortunately, many times it's the innocent who suffer more in these situations

flames, the cold or the cars?

Fire and flames is something I've always been fascinated by. I can watch a bonfire for days... entranced by the jumping crackling flames... colors so inviting and seemingly drawing you into their deadly hot embrace. Even more exciting are those creative people who dance with fire, and after leaving Spain and living in Eugene, I had found some individuals who fire-dance.... we talked of taking some pictures but it never happened. The Northwest's rainy season started and the rain was a big negative for those who work with fire, plus I started to work.

So imagine my excitement when an East Bay friend tells me there's a FREE fire-dance performance in downtown San Francisco? I had already known about this, but forgot.... and am so happy I went!The chilly wind had been blowing strong all day, but as the sun dipped lower in the sky, it seemed to get even gustier. Of course this could and did affect the fire-spinning but even then it was still an awesome display!!
The chilly wind had been blowing strong all day, but as the sun dipped lower in the sky, it seemed to get even gustier. Of course this could and did affect the fire-spinning but even then it was still an awesome display!!
At six they were setting up in Union Square for the 4th Annual Temple of Poi Fire Dancing Expo! I didn't even hear about this last year but will be sure to search the web next year to be sure of the event dates! Featured on the stage would be internationally renowned fire dancing performers, some who had traveled from three continents and at their own expense. In all, the show had a total of 25 separate acts consisting of over 47 different fire dancers and troupes, which also included GlitterGirl of San Francisco fame and founder of the Temple of Poi, Manda Lights from France, and Mireneye from far-away Sweden.

There was a good amount of people present for this show, many not knowing what was going on but decided to stay... considering the wind and cold, I was eventually surprised at the amount of people who watched - I know they were not disappointed!I was there very early to claim my spot, and other photographers soon arrived like clockwork; I did see a few flickr friends, plus even some fellow-Yelpers! Knowing it was to be cold, I actually walked from home carrying my little-used tripod, thinking I was to freeze so much tonight that I wouldn't get any good snaps with shaking-cold fingers, and it was probably the best decision I've made in a long time!

It is not easy to use a camera in low-light situations. It is made more difficult when the fingers and soon the mind is frozen over.... add to that a subject that has in their hands a very bright flame, and their performance routine takes them from one side of the stage to another, plus stepping toward the camera a few steps, then back again. Add to this equation a wind that exhausted the fuel used for the flame sooner than expected.... all very difficult but not impossible, but with just an inkling of estimating the peak of any movement can one perhaps capture the mood of the event and even better: of its performer(s).

I really enjoyed the accompanying music and in one case, there was a solo guitar player strumming a flamenco bit which I loved immensely!

I'm a lousy dancer but it was so cold I was soon dancing in place! I could look around and see people wrapped in blankets and wondered if they would be angry if I stole/borrowed their blankets? Soon the performances started and the tripod saved my life and images!! I was able to focus well and quickly, and got some decent pictures which you see here. Many more as usual are posted at my foto site.EnJoy!! On the way home, walking up and down the steep SF hills with cold frozen stiff legs, I passed the Fairmont Hotel, where I saw within its garage a classic antique car... I walked inside and saw a whole garage filled with antiques as an antique car convention would start in the City the very next day!! I snapped away with the cell fone till I got frustrated, then eventually got my frozen camera out of the bag.... ;-) more pixs are posted at the website!!!