Tuesday, April 21, 2009

the golden gate.....

I am always miserable when I see a sunset that is so beautiful that my bones hurt. It happened again when few days ago when I saw from my bedroom window the clouds start to turn pink...... .....sometimes I think I am back inside my apartment in southern Spain since from my balcony windows I can see the beginnings of the sunsets, and have just ten minutes to walk quickly to the beach with camera in hand....

I love watching the sunrises and sunsets... if you know me on Facebook you'll know I try to describe the sunrises I briefly see and often cannot record. I can see a bit of both from the windows of my cell. I can see just a bit of the East Bay and just a bit more of the North Bay and Richmond across the bay.... as I type this I can see the calm light blue waters of the San Francisco Bay and it looks so peaceful and lovely... sighSo, the other day I missed a gorgeous sunset.... I hate it when I am inside organizing my files. I spend so many hours doing this... it seems all of my work to be done involves a keyboard and a monitor.... it seems to me it's inhuman to be indoors when the sun sets when I should be outside enjoying that final splash of color upon the hills, seeing all the windows brighten as they reflect the lowering sun... last night's set was no less than a flaming glow that burned the clouds, put the bay afire, and had everyone out to watch this glorious colorful day's finale.Why would anyone, me included, sit in front of a computer or even worse: a television set when the real drama that is Life sits beyond our imprisonment of confining walls. I wonder if this generation will remember where the air is free and filled with laughter and sadness, hearing the noisy sounds of the day and muted sounds of each night... and recall easily a time and place when kids and adults mingle in that non-virtual reality show that does not come to us through emissions or cables.... sigh

On the other hand, I have been shooting black and white more... I love BLACK AND WHITE!! I love the softness of the grays upon skin, and the shadow details when there is texture... and there is LOTs of texture in this world we call Life!I remember a time past when, for over 30 years I loaded film for my hungry camera into those tiny black film cassettes, and processed film within a small dark room. After I started living in Spain, I built my own dedicated darkroom, then would shoot during the day, then process and print during the night..... and I intend to return to that life within a few more years.... :-) I don't want to live in front of a monitor, looking at digital images, wondering how long my virtual negatives will exist on CDs, DVDs or on some hard drive.

I want to touch my negatives..... want to see the magic of photography as the images appear before my eyes in the dark....

From last night, I share with you these images from my mind and my eyes.... if you see beauty, then thank Nature and Life. I am just a traveler in this world, passing through ever so slightly and softly... never to return nor to look back.... eyes always ahead to the future.... that isn't virtual but a Life of real dreams, real people, with its disadvantages of fears, its cries of pain and tears, but also of happy moments and love, laughter and words....