Wednesday, October 1, 2008

well, you've done it again!

My next followup appointment with the eye clinic for my new eyes is next week but I have already called to have it rescheduled for tomorrow, so again I drive to San Jose.

While shooting the sunset the other night, aside from staring straight into a brighter-than-BRIGHT sphere with NO haze, fog or clouds as a filter, the usual happened as always, but later that same night and this morning I noticed that my camera viewing eye (left eye) will not focus clearly. Until that sunset the eye was progressing well and I could see sharply but that isn't the case this morning.

As that eye is very important for my photography, I want it checked soon and to determine any damage.... actually it feels like someone punched me in the eye, which I also did by accident the previous day but luckily it hasn't left any bruising.

I know what anyone ~ nobody but a few handful reads this blog anyway ~ would think: that I am already ruining my eyes and these are the new improved ones! But how can anyone stay away from any blinding gorgeous sunset?

Put yourself in my position: not happy at an unexpected event in my family situation which resulted in my moving to SF. To not have any friends in this new place and to be always working at moving out (heavy) stuff of a deceased person, a seemingly never-ending task. To not have any personal income so at least I can do more than I am now, and not available to work for several reasons I won't go into here. To have so much of my personal stuff inside a tiny room - not bigger than a small bathroom with an adjoining closet and walkway, serving as my bedroom, computer room, living room and dining room, and not to forget a storage area for my stuff from Spain and Eugene.... and still with stuff remaining of that deceased person ~ everything in one spot, but with so much stuff there simply isn't room for everything, yet not having the money to send my stuff not needed here to my apt in Spain.

Photography is my only "form" of relaxation or enjoyment. It earns me so little money that I would be sleeping on the streets ~ and that has happened even recently ~ that people ask me why I haven't given up doing something that is worthless to me as a paying profession. There's not much else I do or can do here with my limited funds, all of which goes to pay my spanish mortgage of which the world financial situation is not helping at all right now. I lose so much money it's not funny and is actually quite depressing.

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