Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Toleration and Respect...

... and I am the one who tolerates a LOT. My years in Spain has taught me patience, patience and a bit more patience. In my few months in San Francisco, I have put up with a lot to which I seemingly have gained no respect, appreciation or even praise. It seems to be all taken for granted, and someone somewhere is happy it is I doing the work, moving heavy boxes up and down the stairs, and me cleaning through the mountains of dust and not them.

Or does anyone care at all?

One can tolerate so much, and even the most tolerant will see when things appear to be worst and not better, then for the sake of all, it must come to an end. So, during the next few weeks before driving to Eugene again for a friend's wedding, I will start packing my own things for a change, and moving these items to the garage where hopefully these will be safe while I settle somewhere else. Maybe I'll hit the lottery and will be able to ship my things to Spain but right now don't have the funds to get a place of my own, and I've learned decades ago the car is not comfortable - but if I need to, I'll sleep in the car again.

So, again.... I thought of spending the money to have a new business card printed, and sure enough.... it appears I might be moving yet again! While in Eugene, I had a total of five cards made, each card due to a change of information or a move, each one now displaying old outdated information.

So it's back to the norm: once again it seems I have NO idea if I should stay or leave, and if I were to leave, where I would go nor for how long, but at least I can sleep nights knowing I can be respected and appreciated for who I am.

So, I guess the question here is should I turn a deaf ear or should I keep my chin up and forgive. I am not in a situation to move yet again - now three times in the past two years from Spain to Oregon to San Francisco - and allow destiny to have a gentler hand in my future? As the past has proven, things will probably occur again which creates my torturous existence... who knows what the future brings?

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